Fall in Love with the Pleasure of Being Alive

Welcome to The Pleasure Disco! Where Sensuality meets Playful Exploration

Vita Coaching

Pain…into Pleasure

Yes, I said “turning pain into pleasure”.  And I’ll take it one daring step further, and say turning pain, into pleasure, into POWER.

REDEFINING PLEASURE

A little over a year ago I read a book called Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer (which I HIGHLY recommend BTW) that really shifted my perspective on not only how I view pleasure, but how I allow myself to give and receive pleasure. And I mean more than just the typical sense of the word, and how we tend to view it, which is usually associated mostly with sex and sexual pleasure.  (Yes, that is part of the pleasure picture, but not all of it.)

Think of experiencing pleasure in and through ALL of your senses

We tend to limit our sense of pleasure to physical touch, when in reality, our bodies are designed to experience pleasure through all of our senses. It’s really a matter of tapping into the feeling sense through our other senses.     

SIGHT:  Feeling the sensations in your body as you watch the sunrise gently undress the landscape it caresses. Slowly peeling away the fabric of the night, exposing her curves, her peaks, her valleys. The light bathes the night’s shadow in shades of pink, orange, and gold, highlighting more of the Earth’s beauty with each tender kiss of its illumination.

SOUND:  Closing your eyes to listen to rain, feeling the rhythmic beat of each drop as if it were thrumming against your body.  Feeling your favorite music roll like waves through you, pushing, pulling, enticing you to move, to dance.  

TASTE:  Feeling the velvety texture of your favorite layered cake, the fullness of bubbles from a glass of champagne, the bright flavor and smooth texture of a slice of mango.

TOUCH:  Feeling the slip of gentle fabric across your skin as you dress, or undress. Feeling how your favorite blanket holds you as if it were the arms of someone you love. Feeling the warmth and weight of a beloved pet upon your lap.

SMELL:  Feeling the warmth of freshly baked bread as the scent alone fills your nostrils. Feeling the sensations in your body as you catch a whiff of your partner’s cologne or perfume… 

See what I mean? Even reading the feeling part of these experiences shifts the experience into more pleasure. 
Don’t believe me? TRY IT. I DARE YOU. And, I would like a full report on your experience (if you’d like to share!)

 TURNING PAIN INTO PLEASURE

Earlier this year I had some pretty big relational shifts in my life.  Like, in ALL areas of my life. Personally, professionally, intimately. And to be honest, it felt more like a straight up demolition mission than a shift. It all seemed to happen at once, and it left me feeling very disconnected from myself and from Source.  

You see, I typically feel pretty “dialed in” when it comes to being in tune with myself and my surroundings. My intuition is strong and I can usually pick up on things before they happen. So when these changes occurred and seemingly out of nowhere, I felt defeated.  I felt like I had to of done something wrong and was in a way being “punished” by the Universe (which is NEVER the case BTW, and I deeply know, believe, and trust that.)

What did I do? Just HOW did I turn pain into pleasure? Well, I cried, A LOT haha. Which we all know makes us feel better! I allowed myself to FEEL what was happening, and I did it without judging or shaming myself, or trying to make it go away (i.e. ignoring or stuffing my feelings which just perpetuates the problem.) I talked with trusted friends when I needed. And then, I made a choice. I chose to look at this pile of rubble that was *part* of my relational life and find the beauty in it.  

I chose to see these events as “this is happening FOR me, not TO me.”

I chose to FEEL my pain, my hurt, my disappointment, and I chose to LOVE those parts of myself instead of being a victim to my emotions.
 
I chose to focus my energy and attention on what I wanted in relationships, not what I didn’t want. On what qualities aligned with my values and how I could embody those qualities.

I chose to take ACTION on my energy by focusing on my relationship with myself, using these feelings as fuel towards growth. Which changed EVERYTHING

Without contrast, we don’t have the ability to see and appreciate the good in our lives. Without contrast, we don’t have the ability to see where things might not be working in our lives, and where we could do a bit of house cleaning. The Universe provides us this contrast at times, to assist us in shaking out the dust bunnies, cobwebs, goblins under the bed, so we can clear space for what is meant for us.

By focusing on my relationship with myself I was able to get really fucking clear on how I was self-abandoning, not speaking up for what I want and need (not only in personal, but professional space) and how I was denying myself the straight up pleasure of my existence through that self-abandonment.  

I experimented with the sensations in my body when I would say yes when I wanted to say no, when I wanted to speak up about something, but held back, when my Heart showed me what it needed, and I ignored it…

What I observed was, when I didn’t honor myself, I felt an immense amount of pain. It showed up in various ways such as:

 Fear
 Anxiety
 Fear of abandonment and rejection
 Physical symptoms of pain in my body, especially my stomach
MORE stress and overwhelm that led me to feeling even more powerless and disconnected   

NO FUCKING THANK YOU!!

In Honoring and Loving myself, I observed the sensations of pleasure as it coursed through my body.  

 I felt warmth in my belly vs anxiety 
 I felt safety vs fear
 I felt Love and expansion in my Heart, for myself and others
 I felt powerful vs powerless 

My advice here; choose to shift your perspective on your pain, and you will not only find your pleasure, you will fucking explode from it. In a good way.  

TURNING PLEASURE INTO POWER

Have you ever noticed how when you’re in high vibrational states such as bliss, ecstasy, joy, gratitude, Love, that nothing seems to bother you?  

The person who cuts you off in traffic doesn’t get under your skin.  
The slow line at the grocery store doesn’t seem to agitate you.  
The thing your partner does that typically annoys the shit out of you doesn’t even register…

There’s a reason for that. Being connected to high vibrational states allows us to hold and FEEL those pleasure vibrations within our bodies and minds. Our parasympathetic nervous system is turned on and active, allowing us to feel peaceful, which in turn allows us to think, feel, and act more clearly. We are able to respond vs react.  

 Respond = Power
 React = Powerless (i.e. giving your power away/self abandoning)

What really supercharges this energy of pleasure into power is when we are connected to our joy, our bliss, our ecstasy, our gratitude, our Love, our DESIRE, the Universe is able to deliver to us the things that are meant for us.  

Doors seem to open.
Synchronicities abound, connections happen.  
We are riding the waves of the cosmic ocean like we are winning a world class surf competition!

So I’m curious, what power do you feel from pleasure?

COMING OUT OF THE PLEASURE CLOSET

As much as I work on, and allow myself to be seen and authentic, I still have a tendency towards perfectionism, especially when it comes to becoming more.  Of “hiding”, of not putting myself out there until “everything is done and dusted and in its right place”.  The Goblin King (that’s my lovely little mind gremlin that likes to tell me all sorts of silly scary shit that’s totally not true, and yes it’s David Bowie from the Labyrinth!) likes to fill my thoughts with absurd things like:

I’m an impostor.
I’m not good enough, smart enough, or anything enough.
No one wants to work with me in new ways, so I should just stick to “what I know.”
I’m “too much.” 

*The list could go on, but that little wretch has had the microphone for long enough!

Through these experiences/experiments of turning pain, into pleasure, into power, I began to follow the Universal breadcrumbs that *magically* started to appear in my life. What they led me to was something I had never expected, yet it made total sense. And it felt amazingly, deliciously, right.   

Beginning in January, I start a coaching certification course where the first trimester is spent receiving the support and transformation I will be taught to offer my clients. It is a year long intensive program, and even though I am a bit nervous about the unknown of it all, I am way more excited about the magic that it’s going to bring into my life not only personally, but professionally.  

The program I am entering into will train me to be a VITA Certified Love, Sex, and Relationship Coach.

“The core values of the VITA™ Coaching Certification are based on the beliefs that sexuality is sacred, beautiful, powerful, and natural; that pure love is the primary force that sustains us; and that meaningful relationships are necessary for a joyful life.  

As VITA™ coaches, we celebrate our sensual nature and we live authentically by choosing love over fear while embracing both with compassion. The transformation occurs not from trying to be something different than we are, but by gently integrating the blockages, fears, and contractions around our sexuality, hearts, and relationships, to reveal the wholeness and health that is our birthright and original essence.  

Taking the most effective teaching of modern neurobiology, holistic healing, and modern coaching, and blending them with the ancient & powerful teachings of Tantra, Taoism, and Sacred Sexuality, VITA™ stands for: “The Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach.”  

~VITA Coaching Essential Foundations  

So, here I am, stepping out of the pleasure closet to say that I am so fucking stoked for this journey. I have NO IDEA what it will bring, but what I do know is that every time I choose Love over fear, myself over self-abandonment, healing over being a victim, I am gifted the pleasure of deepening my relationship, Love, and understanding with myself.  Which in turn, allows me to deepen my relationships, Love, and understanding with the people in my life.  

Sounds like a jackpot of a win to me! 

If you’ve made it this far with me, THANK YOU!!  Being vulnerable is fucking uncomfortable, but HOT DAMN is it worth it! 
 
With so so so much Love and Gratitude, big hugs and high fives to you for being with me on this healing journey, and for allowing me to be a part of yours!

Love & Light,

~Asia